Thursday, May 16, 2013

Perils of a non-Hindi speaking South Indian in NORTH INDIA – Part II

In the chain of stops that define the path of Sampak Kranti Express, Tiruchirappalli was a minor stop which meant the train will leave at least in half an hour from the time of halt. Lambu and Chotu had not much difficulty in finding out their compartment, but difficulty started once they entered the 3rd AC compartment. It was around 3:40am in the morning and everyone was fast asleep. There were only zero watt bulbs illuminating the walkway and on both sides passengers had drawn close their curtains. 

Lambu, who was walking in front, located the seat numbers with the help of indicators in the pathway. They ripped open the curtains, silently unloaded their baggage and stuffed them in the space they made by juggling the luggage of sleeping co-passengers. Both had reserved upper-berths. In the darkness, Lambu threw his laptop bag onto his berth. Suddenly the whole compartment woke-up to a wake-up call “*hen*hod” that echoed and re-echoed throughout the compartment. Lambu hurriedly apologised and took back his laptop bag. He turned around to leave, only to see, in the faint light of the zero watts, two eyes twinkling with evil designs. John rushed to his mind and told “Ab sher badla!!”

Thanking the indicator for misdirecting and arranging for a great welcome greeting, they went to the neighbouring set of berths. They kept the laptop bags on the upper-berths first and then repeated the damn process of juggling the luggage of their co-passengers to make way for their own. To check the space available for luggage under the lowest berth, Chotu lifted up one side of the blanket that was hanging down. Suddenly a lot prayers followed by curses, in Tamil, flowed out, first from the lowest berth and then from the neighbouring berths. Chotu was terrified and apologised in English. “Buhuhuhuha ha ha ha ha.....” Lambu laughed heartily in his mind and gave Chotu a “Sher ko shikari chooha banadiya!!” look. 

Finally, with everything settled, both went to sleep. At around five o’clock in the morning the man-in-the-black-suit came to wake everyone up. From the floor, Chotu’s berth seemed unoccupied. The man-in-the-black-suit saw Lambu’s feet sticking out of the berth and pulled it hard. Lambu got up with a jerk. When asked for the ticket, he told in semi-consciousness “No ticket.... No ticket.....” and went back to sleep. The man-in-the-black-suit got angry and started showcasing his Tamil vocabulary. The commotion woke-up Chotu who showed the SMS he received from IRCTC.

The next morning morning began at 1pm for Lambu. Their neighbours, two old Tamil couples, were discussing about Lambu’s faceoff with the feared-by-all man-in-the-black-suit. On overhearing this, it dawned on Lambu that the beggar he shooed away the previous night was none other than the TTR. Thinking this is the time to gain some free respect, Lambu got down from the upper-berth and sat on one side of the lower-berth. As soon as the couples saw Lambu, they started laughing with the merriness of a three year old on seeing a caged monkey!! They started discussing about the previous day’s incident again in full vigour by making comparisons with comedians and jokers in south Indian movie industry. When Lambu thought he can take it no more, he dropped the bomb “Excuse me... Are you from Trichy? It is good to have south Indians around.” The couples asked in shock “Ungalkku Tamil theriyyuma?” Lambu replied in his broken Tamil “Konjam konjam theriyum... naan vanthu Malayali.” The couples, thus enlightened about the depth of their dumbness, gave a sheepish smile and changed the topic.

All day long, Lambu who is a Facebook Addict sat with his laptop and dongle, cursing the service provider, government and naxalites for lack of development in the country, whenever the range dimmed. Chotu slept the whole day, provoking comments from the old couples about the hangover caused due to sleepless nights in IIMs (poke tongue) which they apparently came to know from someone who is related to them through a family-line with a lot of complex hair-pin curves, waking-up only to eat.

Next day, Lambu woke-up again at 1pm and saw Chotu in the neighbouring upper-birth lying face-up staring at the blank white wall in a trance.  Lambu enquired what the reason was and Chotu said “I am worried about internship. This is my first experience and I do not know what I am going to do and whether I am fit for marketing.” Lambu consoled Chotu and both had lunch. The train had stopped at a station somewhere in Uttar Pradesh. Both of them got down to buy some cold drinks and snacks for evening. Lambu enquired about the price in broken Hindi and the shopkeeper replied in Hindi. Lambu said “Sorry, no change!” shut his wallet and asked Chotu to take care of it. Chotu asked -”165?” and was about to pay when Lambu checked the prices of each and found out MRP was just three fourth of that amount. Both got alerted of the harsh world out there waiting for them, where the careless will be clueless of what hit them. They paid the actual amount and continued their travel to the capital city.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Perils of a non-Hindi speaking South Indian in NORTH INDIA – Part I

It was a morning of gloom and laggardness, or rather a night for the still-unawake-sun and snoring rickshaw drivers.  Two friends or to-be-very-good-friends walked in through the gate of Tiruchirappalli Central Railway station. One was a tall and fair guy who was gifted with the power of invisibility when viewed from a distance in the early morning light. The other person was rather a kid than a man who ended up in a premier institute because of the excessive analytical skills he possesses, which even he came to know after obtaining the results. 

Now, my dear readers let me tell you that the hero of this story is not a ‘filmy’ hero. He has no superhuman qualities but became hero of this story only because this story revolves around his experiences during two months of his stay in North India. He is a Malayali; he is tall and fair. Yes, he is the above mentioned person who walked in with the kid into Tiruchirappalli railway station. Let us call him ‘Lambu’, the name by which he became popularly known among his superiors, friends and even strangers. Following the pattern, let us call the kid as ‘Chotu’.  

Lambu and Chotu reached the entrance of the station and that is when Chotu remembered “Oh... I forgot to withdraw cash from ATM!”. Cursing the stars, blood-sucking porters and pestering mosquitoes they again walked, dragging the load of all the text books that they did not get time to read during first year like an albatross in the physical sense, towards the gate where there are a couple of ATMs. It is a well-known fact that in places of high temperature, to provide effective security to the ATM machines, the guards at times sit inside the ATM enclosure. But in one of the ATMs, the guard decided to take it to the next level by closing the shutter half way. 

After withdrawing cash from the only guard-free ATM, they walked to the station and enquired about their train timings at the information desk. The sleepy officer, angry to be disturbed, asked them in Tamil to refer the board kept somewhere in the first platform for details. Chotu was taken aback thinking the officer just abused all his ancestors in some alien language. Lambu, after his usual fit of laughter which occurs frequently and even without much provocation, explained what the officer said. Chotu was not impressed with Lambu’s outbreak of laughter.  He made it clear with a look of ‘Don’t be very happy mate... your territory ends here and mine will begin soon...’ with a John-Abraham-touch when John says ‘Jungle ka sher badlega’.

Both went over to the nearby store to buy coffee and snacks to pass time until ‘Sampark Kranti Express’, which was competing to beat its own best delay time, reached. The waiting area near the coffee shop was full with passengers who were hopeful of boarding their trains on time. A young mother was having a tough time with her baby who was crying at the top of its (pardon the usage but don’t know whether the baby was a he or a she) voice. Chotu gave a look of despair, rolled his eyes and commented, in a false deep voice, shaking his head - “These kids...”. This was enough to set Lambu on his next course of laughter with another comment “Look who is talking!”. Honouring all the prayers Lambu had chanted till then, their train reached the station and diverted Chotu’s attention from him, thereby saving him from a few punches at the level of his stomach. They boarded the train and set off on a long journey to the capital of India, New Delhi.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

ravings of a redundant mind(PART-1).....

ravings of a redundant mind(PART-1).....

Once you start thinking, you will realize how much fun it is to just sit back and observe the way in which human mind works.......

***An old man who is too old even to walk curses all the young kids who plays cricket in the neighbourhood and shrills at the top of  their voices. He curses the children and also their Parents for bringing up them in this manner. At that time he hears his grandson of age seven singing "Sheela..... Sheela ki jawani....." :-O

***There is a category of guys with enormously big hearts and outstandingly small brains. . . . . Let us refer to them for the time being bozos (if you know what it means) ;-P 
When do bozos get depressed??
Options :
a)  When he..... wait a sec pleaZeee...... Do you actually need options to answer this exceedingly simple question??
No not when he fails in his exam...... Exams come and go......
No not when he gets hurt....... It is just a matter of time, will get well soon.....
No not when he gets scolded......... ha ha ha....... lolzZZZzzzz.......  :-P
No not even when his crush turns him down or when he misses out a puff with his friends.......
But a bozo gets depressed when he realizes what a fathead he had been while he had spend almost all of his savings on some smart girl who was smart enough to ditch him for next bozo with bulging billfold...... ;-)

***A guy named “Shashi Mannumparambil” felt ashamed of his name which is in regional language and thus consulted his friends for adivice. According to his friends's wish he converted his name into a “MASTH” English name “Shashi Sand Field” which unfortunately meant the same.....  :-O ;-D

So on goes the dumb little day to day findings of the innocent idle mind..... stay tuned for more...... ;)

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Searching for the Real ME.....

All along the lane of life
I had been searching tough
Not for anything grand
But just for the Real ME.....

“Dreams are the Real ME
Once I used to believe so
To know what I really am
I used to chase my dreams....

When I was a kid of 5
I dreamt of being a STAR
To get whatever I ask for....
It would be the best life one could have....

But when I grew up
I started to know the world
Then I left the dream to be a STAR
In want of private life.....

Many more dreams I have had
I have chased and won a lot....
But still there is a question unanswered
What is the Real ME???

Am I just a bag of Biology?
That keeps on chasing dreams
Or is there more to it
From the spiritual perspective??

All along the lane of life
I had been searching tough
Not for anything grand
But just for the Real ME.....

And am still chasing a dream of finding the Real ME........ ;)

2 weeks into the corporate life........

This is the very first time that I am feeling really lost. I feel as if I am living a life with no specific targets. I am missing many things that I used to love in my student life. More than ever I am missing my past now......

Deep in my mind I used to be a little proud of myself thinking that I have somewhat creative mind and that I have some talents like painting, writing etc. which are above average. But in this new mode of life where I use my creative instincts mostly for coding I don’t know how long it will last......

Suddenly I am feeling as if I am getting old..... :-/

Anyways whatever happens, how much ever busy I get, I will try my best to keep the spark of creativity inside me aLIVE.... It is always awesome to be young.... at least everyone should be young at heart :P ;) :D

Sunday, October 17, 2010

How to spend my 1st Salary???

Some selected answers I got (even without asking) for the question mentioned above:

1) Lets go partying – who else other than friends would say this (including classmates, batch mates, branch mates, schoolmates, college mates, seniors, juniors, neighbors, relatives and all)

2) Don’t go on a spending spree!! Save it for your higher studies!!! – no points for guessing, yes this is My Family’s advice

3) Some people interested in Social Service say: “It is said that you should spend 1/5th of your earnings as charity.” (And as I think - Oh at least some altruistic people still exist in this world, doomsday is not so near – they say) “Then we also expect a grand donation (almost 3/5th of my salary :-O) for the program we are organizing.” (Hmm... Thanks for your kindness, at least U spared 1/5th for my own use…. and then comes the final blow) “And when could we expect your treat son??” (Hey Mr. I am not being paid a trillion a month!!)

4) Then comes even bigger crowd consisting of friends and friends of friends of mom, Dad, Bro, Cousins and all, whom I have never met before…… They start with praising me as if I have brought the moon to the ground…. “Congratulations dear... U are terrific” (Yeah spit it out... I know what is coming…… U also need my blood that’s obvious) “So when is the treat??” (aha... I knew!! I knew!!)

OK!!! Now that’s enough!!! I could try my best not to spend a single paisa on myself. But still I couldn’t satisfy the above list even with 10 times of my first salary!! No wonder that many choose some far away places from their home, for their posting, at least for 1st couple of months…… ;-)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

You are the best part of my life…

You are... the best part of my life
We are... together for the rest of life
I feel you..... when breeze brush past my lips
I see you..... in all the raining drops...

As a child, I used to play ‘THE FAMILY’
As a teen, I used to dream ‘MY FAMILY’
My Love, You make my dreams... come true...
My Love, You make me feel so proud...

With You....... no walks are long
You make....... my world a paradise
For me, You are the guiding light
For You, I would even die!!

You are... the best part of my life
We are... together for the rest of life
I feel you..... when breeze brush past my lips
I see you..... in all the raining drops...