The concealed emotions of an Elder Brother

On the day of accident (11:50pm)

Oh God please save my Brother! Please spare his life!! Please bring him back to normal... Oh God… he is my only sibling and I care for him more than I show outside....

Oh God don’t you know that whenever we fight, I never take it to my heart? Sometimes when he goes n irritating me, I would have told him – “You are a little pest”. But, oh God!! Every time deep in my heart, haven’t I vouched that I don’t mean it and haven’t I prayed for My Brother’s well-being all along??

Don’t you remember? Day before yesterday also when he kept on irritating me, I felt like telling the dreadful dialogue. But I thought why tell such a thing if I don’t mean it and thus stayed mute. Then I understood he was just pulling my legs and just prayed for his good.

Today evening when I started my studies for tomorrow’s course viva, I got My Dad’s call. Ohh... My heart skipped several beats and there I stood, temporarily paralyzed. My Dad and Bro met with an accident?? Bro’s condition is damn serious?? Rush to the hospital with My Mom?? :-o :’(

How serious??? What happened?? A hell lot of questions echoed in and through my head. I had a hard time fighting the blurredness from my eyes while riding my bike to the hospital.

God do you know how horrible I felt when I visited My Brother in the casualty?? Oh God!! Today I really felt like hugging My Bro and kissing him on his forehead. I wanted to tell him - “Don’t worry my little Bro, we all are here, above all God is here to protect you. You will get well soon my dear”. I wanted to tell him how important he was to me, how much I cared for him.... :’( But.... Oh God... as you know, public exhibition of affection is absent in our family. Also I didn’t want to hurt him by hugging as he had many broken bones. And My Bro was in the midst of wires, oxygen mask plugged to his face and surrounded by Doctors and nurses. I didn’t get a chance to tell what I wanted, but our eyes met for a few eternal seconds. All I could do was to give a not so weak smile and show a thumps up sign. Even being in pain, My Bro returned my smile...

God... I will never despise you because I know how much worse it could have been. And I know that you know all the things that I a telling, but still I feel better when I tell you myself.

Days passed.....

God... Thank You for making My Bro’s conditions better. But still I didn’t get a chance to tell him how much I care for him. And do you know what I heard today?? Some one was suggesting that we check My Bro’s and My horoscopes and find whether it is bad luck caused due to the problems of our horoscopes. Do you know how hard it is to hear such a thing?? How dumb suggestion!! When you are here, I know that nothing else matters..... And you are present everywhere.... It is that belief that keeps me going all the day.

Another thing that I noticed is that when I smile some people think I am hard, some think I am funny & stupid and there are yet anther who think I “just don’t care”. x-(

But, still I prefer smiling because it makes others life easy. And at the same time, I am thankful to you for giving me time to drain my eyes in private.... :-)

Days passed......... And God showed his greatness again!! :D

Thank You God for giving me such a wonderful family and friends...... :-) God is great..... :D